


Penitence

by hannapalooza



Category: Einstein and Eddington (2008)
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannapalooza/pseuds/hannapalooza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the train pulled away from the station, unbidden a bittersweet memory came to William’s mind</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penitence

His palms were sweating, his whole hand trembling when he fumbled a cigarette out of his breast pocket. He refused to search, kept his eyes fixed on his boots, or his lighter, swallowing the choked up feeling he refused to attribute to anything other than the anticipation of war. He was a fool, dear gentle Arthur was as rigid and immutable as his beloved mathematics when he came to his beliefs, and he had no right to his forgiveness or anything more.

 

And yet, for a moment in the field, in that tranquil peace, for the briefest measurement of time he saw something in Arthur’s eyes, so swiftly hidden, that made his heart soar and his soul plummet, despair and hope snatching his breath and stinging his eyes.

 

The cigarette was done, and William ground that final forbidden hope under his boot turning swiftly on his heel and boarding the train. As it pulled away from the station, unbidden a bittersweet memory came to mind

 

_The day was warm, an ever present breeze ruffling Arthur’s hair into a parody of his normal neatness, and his wide contented smile illuminating the boy within the man, his innocence and carefree wonder that informed his fascination with the universe. We were replete, stomachs groaning contentedly, the taste of red wine heavy on our tongues, and for the moment wrapped in our own thoughts, lying quietly under our favourite apple tree. Although I rested my mind was in turmoil at the momentous decision I had committed to that very morning, trying for the surety “for king and country” was destined to inspire, forgoing emotion and thoughts of betrayal for the strictures of logical and intellectual certainty._

_The shadow of war coloured the world, and I felt no small measure of pain at how my dearest friend’s boundless capacity for compassion was sure to be tested in the coming times. That I was only adding to his burden was the hardest thing of all. As if he sensed my quiet discomfort Arthur drew my head gently to his lap and smiled down at me with affection, uttering words of understanding, of absolution and acceptance:_

_“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”_

**Author's Note:**

> First posted to hans_fics on LJ - 27.11.2008
> 
> Comments and criticism always welcome
> 
> The quote at the end is from the first letter of Paul of Tarsus to the school of Corinth Chapter 13, verse 11, and it was the inspiration for this fic.


End file.
